After this one, I’m going to start counting down

My birthday is tomorrow.  I am turning THIRTY FIVE.  I spelled it out because just looking at those numbers together scares me a little.  That is a hard number to swallow.  I think that somewhere, long ago, I thought I would be Melanie Griffith in “Working Girl” by thirty five.  Minus the scary makeup.  And the shoulder pads.  But honestly, I couldn’t tell you what gets merged and what gets acquired if you put a gun to my head.  I can type like a mother though. 

And since it’s my birthday AND New Year’s Eve, I just had to break out the year end introspection and make some resolutions.  And here they are *in no particular order*:

1)  I’m fat.  Not really news to anyone, me included.  I had planned on making some drastic change like going raw or slow food.  But honestly, we are too poor to afford it.  And I am too intolerant of the BS that comes with most people involved in farmer’s markets.  Seriously.  I am sure that your heirloom, organic tomatoes kick some BLT booty but I am not paying $5 for 4 of them.  Oh you don’t eat bacon because of the salt and nitrates?  Well, now I really wouldn’t buy your tomatoes, because you are communist.  So I guess I will just have to do this weight reduction the old fashioned way, deprivation and self humiliation.  I might even try to squeeze in some lessons about portion control and loving myself.  We’ll see.

2)  I could be a better mom.  This one has really peeved me.  I mean, I thought I was doing everything I could, only to find out there is room for improvement.  Geez, what do these kids want?  I mean I did grow them from scratch.  I’m not Annie Sullivan here.  I suppose I could cut down on the yelling and amp up the snuggling a bit more.  They deserve it.  I hope they know it.  Hang on, I’m going to go tell them right now.  Plus I need a tissue.  Thinking of how sweet they are and what a tyrant I am, has started the water works…stupid self awareness.

Ok, I’m back…

3) Ignoring things really does make them go away.  Sometimes.  I have my husband to thank for this little nugget.  While he tries to apply this philosophy to things like the trash or ME asking for his help rearranging the bedroom, I have learned to apply it to things like grudges, petty differences and sometimes even people that annoy me.  It doesn’t work on big things or bills but surely by 2012, I will have figured those out too.  I can honestly say I have had a lot less fights with my husband because of it.  And I am looking forward to more things to ignore in 2011. 

4) Enough is as good as a feast.  Josh and I have lived on a financial rollercoaster for years now.  Some of it by choice but lots of it by circumstance.  And that has caused a lot of conflict for me.  I really let what I didn’t have bog me down in the past.  This year things have leveled out almost completely.  And the peace of having “enough” has made me grateful.

5) Is it wrong that I cannot think of a #5?  I feel certain I should have a long list of do’s and don’ts for 2011.  But since 2010 was more or less a stellar year for me, I sorta think I am coming out ahead of the game.  I mean, I did not wreck a car, have surgery, or lose anything of value.  Honestly, aside from moving, I haven’t had any kind of big event this year.  And that is a good thing. 

So tomorrow night when you ring in the new year, think of me.  Wish me an uneventful year of filled with a shrinking waistline, more bedtime stories, ignoring what doesn’t matter, and enough. 

Have a safe and happy new year.  I’m going to the store to buy cupcakes and champagne.  That healthier me doesn’t start until Saturday y’all (but I will start on the rest of it right now).