We just jumped off the diving board!

Today, I am withdrawing my children from public school and beginning our homeschool journey.  So jumping off the diving board is the exact metaphor for how I feel.  My heart has been yearning to teach my children at home for years. YEARS. I've read about the Waldorf tradition, unschooling, Charlotte Mason, this and that curriculum set and I was always always always gripped with fear.

Finally, we were faced with a move (that is coming in a few weeks) and I really did not like our options for school.  I told my husband I would revisit the homeschool scenario again.  And again all the same fears came back.  I asked my kids what they thought of the idea.  Sweet girl was all for it.  More time with Mommy? Yes.  Did I mention she is 10?  Did I mention she has spent all those years trying to resume her living arrangement prior to birth?  Ok. So Mommy's baby was a no brainer.  Sweet boy was a different story.  He is 11 and he is my go to for the God's honest truth.  Does this make me look fat? Yes and your hair looks awful.  How does that dinner taste?  Like it has too much salt and it looks like cat food.  He tempers this brutal honesty with a well meaning heart of gold, so when I want real answers, I ask him.  "How would you like to be homeschooled?"  Pause.  Sweet boy replies,"Could you really give me a quality education since you and Daddy didn't go to college?"  Gee thanks for hitting the overwhelming fear I have right on the head!

I read some more articles and looked at more sites and then I did what you do when you have no other foreseeable options.  I prayed.  Ugly crying, hand raising, thanking the Lord for all His glory kind of praying.  And like Laura Ingalls Wilder described the quietness of a prayer spoken by Reverend Alden, I felt the coolness of peace wash over me.  All I had to do was start at step one.

I researched several cover schools but thought I should wait to enroll when it was closer to our move.  Then this morning, as I bemoaned the fact that I had to wake up a very cranky Sweet Girl, I found a school that met our needs.  It also occurred to me in a divine flash...I AM IN CONTROL OF OUR SCHOOL DECISIONS.  Holy smokes!  You mean, I could go ahead and enroll them in this new school and just start teaching them?  You know the Bible verse where Saul is converted and scales fell from his eyes?  That is what I felt like (maybe not THAT dramatic).  It was such a revelation to me and again, the coolness of peace comforted me.

So here we go...off the diving board into the deep end.  

It's not a party until someone gets hurt.

This past Tuesday marks an event in my life I will never forget.  

Our family was gathered together at my mother's house.  We had all eaten and the presents had been passed out to everyone.  I was sitting at the dining room table with my brother, chatting.  Actually he may have been eating.  I cannot remember.  Some of the details before the life changing event are a little fuzzy now.  One of the younger cousins needed help loading his Nerf gun.  It was one of these wheel gun meets shotgun numbers.  Maybe you've seen it? 

Alden already owns one of these things, so I asked him to help the cousin in the loading.  Alden was glad to help (my dutiful, wonderful son) and then tragedy struck.

I heard the THWACK and hum of the gun being shot.  And I screamed (it was a mini horror movie type scream) as the bullet hit my brother RIGHT IN THE EYE!!!!  If it hurt as badly as it sounded, then I am going straight to hell.  Because my first reaction was to laugh hysterically.  That is my reaction no matter who is hurt or how badly...total knee jerk reaction (plus it's usually pretty funny).  Anyway, for those of you that don't know my brother I'll break it down like this:

Richard BEFORE

Richard AFTER

Except in that AFTER picture, he was holding his eye and wondering if he still had sight in it.  Alden was immensely sorry and asked if my brother was OK.  That is a cardinal sin in my family...wait until the carnage can be surveyed before asking stupid questions like "Are you OK?" or "Can I do anything?"  

Thankfully, he was OK.  He accepted Alden's apology and did not disown me for my involuntary laughter.  And little did I know that this incident was just the beginning of my Christmas week.  

PS  I hope all of y'all are having a Merry Christmas!  If I drank eggnog, I'd drink a toast to you!