We just jumped off the diving board!

Today, I am withdrawing my children from public school and beginning our homeschool journey.  So jumping off the diving board is the exact metaphor for how I feel.  My heart has been yearning to teach my children at home for years. YEARS. I've read about the Waldorf tradition, unschooling, Charlotte Mason, this and that curriculum set and I was always always always gripped with fear.

Finally, we were faced with a move (that is coming in a few weeks) and I really did not like our options for school.  I told my husband I would revisit the homeschool scenario again.  And again all the same fears came back.  I asked my kids what they thought of the idea.  Sweet girl was all for it.  More time with Mommy? Yes.  Did I mention she is 10?  Did I mention she has spent all those years trying to resume her living arrangement prior to birth?  Ok. So Mommy's baby was a no brainer.  Sweet boy was a different story.  He is 11 and he is my go to for the God's honest truth.  Does this make me look fat? Yes and your hair looks awful.  How does that dinner taste?  Like it has too much salt and it looks like cat food.  He tempers this brutal honesty with a well meaning heart of gold, so when I want real answers, I ask him.  "How would you like to be homeschooled?"  Pause.  Sweet boy replies,"Could you really give me a quality education since you and Daddy didn't go to college?"  Gee thanks for hitting the overwhelming fear I have right on the head!

I read some more articles and looked at more sites and then I did what you do when you have no other foreseeable options.  I prayed.  Ugly crying, hand raising, thanking the Lord for all His glory kind of praying.  And like Laura Ingalls Wilder described the quietness of a prayer spoken by Reverend Alden, I felt the coolness of peace wash over me.  All I had to do was start at step one.

I researched several cover schools but thought I should wait to enroll when it was closer to our move.  Then this morning, as I bemoaned the fact that I had to wake up a very cranky Sweet Girl, I found a school that met our needs.  It also occurred to me in a divine flash...I AM IN CONTROL OF OUR SCHOOL DECISIONS.  Holy smokes!  You mean, I could go ahead and enroll them in this new school and just start teaching them?  You know the Bible verse where Saul is converted and scales fell from his eyes?  That is what I felt like (maybe not THAT dramatic).  It was such a revelation to me and again, the coolness of peace comforted me.

So here we go...off the diving board into the deep end.