Monday, December 6, 2010

Forecast: Stormy, with a chance of cold shoulder

I got a phone call the other night.  Someone I love dearly called me and said right out of the gate that they needed to vent.  This is the kind of relationship I have with this person.  I call them for social reasons or random chit chat and they never, ever answer the phone or call me back.  But they call me up whenever they have a crisis or a bad day.  And 99% of the time I listen to them sympathetically and with all the devotion a good friend can have. 

It sounds so one sided, doesn’t it?  I have had several of these friendships.  I call them “stormy weather friends”.  Which completely blows for me.  I would give anything to have a “fair weather friend” that only called when they were having a good day.  (For the record, I have a handful of “all weather friends”.  Those are my favorite people on the planet.)

Anyhoo, this person started in on their rant and I did something unheard of.  I did not agree with them.  I told them calmly that what they had done was wrong and the consequences they were suffering were their own fault.  It was a moment of tough love.  I felt triumphant.  They on the other hand, hung up on me. 

Which brings me to this question:  Should I have kept my mouth shut and just let them vent?  Or did I do the right thing by speaking up?  I know that if the tables were turned, I would have been upset if I could not have just gotten things off my chest.  But then again, sometimes we need to hear the awful truth.  RIght? 

What do you think?  I have already left them a message apologizing for upsetting them.  And I am sure the next time they have a horrible day, all will be forgotten and they will call me up to cry on my shoulder.  It’s ok.  That is what friends are for.  Though, maybe I should ask them for an umbrella and rain boots for Christmas.  That way I can weather the next storm a little better.


  1. I say you did the right thing. If they are actually wanting you as a friend, they have to take your truth with it. And if they don't want that and are just looking for a sounding board, I say get a dog. They'll let you say whatever you want and then lick your face afterwards. (this is why I'm a cat person)

  2. Their dog died. True story...


Like George Washington Carver said:

1. Be clean both inside and outside.
2. Neither look up to the rich nor down on the poor.
3. Lose, if need be, without squealing.
4. Win without bragging.
5. Always be considerate of women, children and old people.
6. Be too brave to lie.
7. Be too generous to cheat.
8. Take your share of the world and let others take theirs.


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