Thursday, October 28, 2010

Just a bite.

Eat. Pray. Love….Julie and Julia…Chocolat.  Movies about the magical, life transforming power of food.  I myself, am fat.  And I feel guilty for it.  I feel like every bite I put into my mouth says something about my insufficient childhood or how desperate I am to be a better person.  That I could not possibly enjoy food for both its form and function.  That I indulge in sweet delights because I am horribly depressed.  It’s horrible to feel guilty about what food means to me.

I link certain foods to memories.  Just a taste of butterbeans and I am taken back to a sunny weekend at my grandparent’s house.  I can see the McCoy bowls, my grandfather at the stove and all the safety and happiness I felt with him is restored to me.  Birthday cake never fails to make me think of my sister.  French press coffee takes me back to one of the first dates I had with my husband.  These are things that nourish my heart. 

So in a country where we are too fat, too stressed and feed ourselves on doubt and self loathing more often than fresh vegetables and good wine, where does that leave me? 

For now, I guess it leaves me a fatter than I know I should be and…happy.  Fat and happy.  That surely became a saying for a reason.  And I am also thankful.  Thankful that it only took (almost) 35 years to learn this lesson.  Maybe I never will know what real French beef bourguignon tastes like or drink Italian wine in Italy.  But I will always know what happiness tastes like right in my own kitchen.

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Like George Washington Carver said:

1. Be clean both inside and outside.
2. Neither look up to the rich nor down on the poor.
3. Lose, if need be, without squealing.
4. Win without bragging.
5. Always be considerate of women, children and old people.
6. Be too brave to lie.
7. Be too generous to cheat.
8. Take your share of the world and let others take theirs.


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